春夏秋冬，一年四季是在马来西亚体验不到的，这也是我想出国留学的其中一个原因。虽然每换一个季节就要买一些新衣服真的搞到我很穷，可是亲眼目睹季节变化是一种幸福。还记得第一次过去的时候一边光秃秃的山坡，校园里的树都只剩下树干。然后开着春天的到来，树干上突然多了一些刚盛开的花，然后樱花就盛开了，在去上课的路上都是满满的樱花，真的心情在不好都会突然变好。白色樱花随着日子过去有一些渐渐凋谢了，有一些慢慢变成了粉色，其实真的满神奇的。但其实樱花大概一个星期就凋谢了，又剩下光溜溜的树干。可是随着时间流逝，树上又布满了青色的叶子，而这一个阶段维持了比较长一段时间直达夏天过去。放了个暑假，回去的时候就是秋天了，秋天真的很棒。看着叶子的颜色慢慢从绿色变成黄色再变成褐色，有一些也变成了红色在慢慢凋谢。也许对当地人来说一点都不稀奇，可是对我而言这个过程真的很疗愈，很让人怦然心动。然后天气慢慢的转凉，冬天已悄悄的到来了。冬天也没想象中的那么可怕，其实衣服穿对了就不会太冷。也因为这个冬天我严重爱上了围巾，感觉围巾完全是一个可以让人从快冻死了到好温暖的阶段。寒假回来，一抵达马来西亚我觉得我快被热得融化了也在那一瞬间我发觉我宁愿冷也不愿意热。
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| spring ・ 봄 ・ 春 |
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| summer ・ 여름 ・ 夏 |
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| autumn ・ 가을 ・ 秋 |
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| winter ・ 겨울 ・ 冬 |
end of year 1 - freshman year.
being forced to do every fundamental subjects that I have zero interest in, no matter how hard I tried, I still ended up with bad grades, times like that were definitely demotivating. There were times when I just wanted to give up studying because even if I spend two to three hours per day trying to understand calculus, I know clearly that midterms and finals are still going to be bad. I repeated the physics homework problems for at least three times each chapters but still unable to solve the problems in exams. I felt devastated, I felt like everything were against my will, I felt like even if I put in 101% of efforts, the outcome wouldn't be even 10%. Sometimes, I ask myself is it worth it to study? Or I shall just focus on some other subjects that I have confident in. But I couldn't just give up cooly, I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't even try my best. I guess these were the hardest part of freshman year, but thankfully it is over now. (lets pray that ill pass the subjects).
2018 wasn't easy for me, I cried after overthinking in the middle of the night. I cried because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't achieve my goal. Sometimes I hate myself for being such a cry baby but I can't help, at least it feels much better after crying out the stress that were being built up in my heart. First half of 2018 was really tough, being alone in a foreign country, having only a few friends by my side, being betrayed and cheated on, needing to adapt to the new living and learning environment.
Later half of 2018, thank you for being a part of my life, giving me motivation to continue in the hardest time. I hesitated in the beginning, but I am glad that I was willing to hold your hand, I was willing to trust again. Thank you for making me feel loved all the time, thank you for letting me know that I made a right choice. I don't know what brought us together, but I am glad that I met you. Being supportive on my studies, helping me in studies even though you have to study everything again before teaching me, giving me warm hugs and kisses on my cheeks, held my hand tightly all the time, these are the little things that made me fall in love with you a little more everyday. Instead of only telling me everything is goin to be fine, you helped me to solve the problems I faced together. You're definitely not the most romantic person, but thank you for being you when you're with me. I love you for who you are. You said that you're a rough person but I don't think so, you might not be as attentive or gentle, but I know you're trying your best. But let's be honest, I noticed that you really improved a lot compared to when we first met. Remember when I was sick before mid terms, you came over and handed me a box of honey yuzu tea. Actions are definitely better than empty words. I love how you're so passionate in coffee, it motivates me search for something that I find passion in, too. I love how you constantly improve yourself, I love how you're such a wholly shaped person. Loving you makes me want to be a better person day by day. And this is really the kind of relationship I desire. Constantly motivating each other to be someone better and become each other's motivation. We both know clearly that it will not be easy, when you continue your studies in Seoul, we couldn't meet as often. When it's finally summer or vacation break, I'll have to go home. But, we will be able to do well right? I wanted to exchange letter with you before going home, so I told you about it and you told me you planned to do it even though if I didn't tell you about it. That's when I fall in love with you a little deeper, I know that you're not the type who would do this but you actually thought of it! It makes me feel so loved and appreciated.
이대로 잘 할수 있겠지. 앞으로 무슨일이 있어도 손 꽉 잡고 같이 걷자.
같이 있으면 무서운일이 없다.
2019,
it will finally be the year for me to begin my sophomore year which means I am finally a student majoring in biological science. I see it as a fresh start, general studies had been hard to me. I believe it wouldn't be any easier but ill continue to strive my best. No excuses like "I have no interest in it" anymore, it is what I chose. I'll promise myself to do much better than freshman year.
우리, 계속 화이팅하자.
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