learning to be more mature, to be more responsible, to be a better person.
twenty-one year old birthday celebration, well, not really.
I was busy on my birthday, my parents weren't home, so there wasn't any celebration on my actual birthday. I would say it feels just like a usual day to me but of course, I am thankful for those who remembered my birthday and wishes me. Thank you for making me a birthday video as well, even though we weren't able to celebrate together (well, we did celebrate in advance but it didn't feel like it was a birthday celebration since it was wAAAY before the actual day). Honestly, I feel slightly sad since it's my twenty-first birthday and we all know how important it is. It just felt a little bit like one piece of the puzzle from my life is not being completed. But well, it is over anyway and let's just be grateful for what I had!
Thank you for the belated celebration, at least I heard an actual birthday song for my twenty-first. At least I had a group of friends to celebrate with me. I was quite surprised as I thought it was just a dinner with three of you but turns out more people came! Thank you for everything. Being away to study aboard means I am unable to celebrate my best sisters' birthday together, but I really appreciate how we still manage to meet up and have a celebration together, belated or in advance.
感觉人生其中一个幸运就是有你们这班中学时期的朋友，但愿以后的日子也会有你们的参与。
Thank you for the belated celebration, at least I heard an actual birthday song for my twenty-first. At least I had a group of friends to celebrate with me. I was quite surprised as I thought it was just a dinner with three of you but turns out more people came! Thank you for everything. Being away to study aboard means I am unable to celebrate my best sisters' birthday together, but I really appreciate how we still manage to meet up and have a celebration together, belated or in advance.
感觉人生其中一个幸运就是有你们这班中学时期的朋友，但愿以后的日子也会有你们的参与。
I am proud that I have achieved one of my goal in life which is studying aboard, and most importantly in the place that I wanted to go the most. I am really lucky to finally meet the person I love so much, tho, in an unexpected way. I feel loved to have all these people who are always by my side since middle schools, since college, and since someday in the latter half of 2018. And most importantly, my family who always support me.
Honestly, I am beyond happy and grateful that I was given the chance to spend my university year abroad. It wasn't an easy chance, I worked hard for high school final exam and A-Level just to pave a way that will possibly lead me to achieve my dream. Along the way, some friends have the same dream as me, everyone around me has their dream, it may lead to different places in the world but us, it is the same dream we have. We helped each other along the way, supported each other's dream and I'm really glad that most of us did it in the end. Some went to medical schools, some went overseas, some did exchange programs, but everyone is doing what they love now, and that's what important.
I have also recently volunteered in a Korean education fair for two days, apparently, it was on my birthday and that is why I didn't get to celebrate with anyone. But I guess it is a great experience on my twenty-first birthday. That one thing that gave me the greatest impression was seeing the students who are so passionate about going to a university in Korea, and those who are shy to approach, it was like a flashback from 2 years ago when I visited the Korean education fair. 2 years later, I am sitting at one of the university's booth as representative to give students information and guidelines. Whenever the admission team staff told the students who came to our booth that there are only 2 Malaysian students and one of them is me, along with another graduate student, they looked at me with a very amazing look. To be honest, I feel a little bit proud to be part of the university and it feels like all the hard work does pay off. Some parents asked me how was it when I first entered the university, I told them honestly. It wasn't easy for me, I took some time to adjust to the way of studies, the format of exams and also the syllabus. Social life was not that bad but academics were, urm, terrible. My freshmen year results were so .. bad.. that I don't even want to recall but I'm glad that as I adjusted myself throughout the semester, my grades also became better. To think about it, there are only 2 years and a half left to finish my degree. It feels quite fast, and I guess it is time to start worrying about my career after graduating from undergrad school.
My biggest source of happiness, I am glad that you came into my life.
I don't remember at which exact moment I started to fall in love with you exactly, I don't remember when was the first day you got stuck in my mind, I don't remember when was the day I started to think about how should I ask you out when I go back to Korea.
I am glad that you came, I am glad like we clicked well with each other! It all started with learning Mandarin, and well maybe going to a lot of coffee shops together. September fifteen was the day you asked me if I have free time to meet up with you, and I remember well that I hesitated because I had my schedule planned, but I went in the end because it's you who asked. And surprisingly, that was the first day and I didn't even know! (what!!) A few days later, we went to the park together, we held each other hand and well, lean on each other's shoulder and you kissed my forehead yet you didn't confess to me or anything. I was so curious, so so so curious, I wanted to know so badly, so I asked what's our relationship. It took me so much courage to ask and thank god, the answer was the one that I was hoping for.
Since then, we went through a lot together and it will be one year soon! (Am currently preparing a gift because I don't think ill have time to do that when the semester begins ><) You made me smile a lot, you made me cry and angry sometimes but I didn't know what to say because I feel like it's just me being childish. But of course, there was a lot more happiness! You made me feel like a princess, you made me feel so loved, you made me feel like even when the world is against me you'll be right by my side. Long-distance wasn't easy but it is also not as hard as it seems to be, we have been doing well and I believe we will do better and I believe that the day when I will finally wake up having you by my side is getting closer day by day! We see each other through the screen a lot more, and this always made me realize how precious it is to spend a day together physically. Sometimes it even feels weird because we always see each other through video calls, but I love your warmth whenever you hold my hand or hug me tightly. I am a crybaby who always cries when we have to leave each other for more than a month, or when we have to send each other off to another state. I look forward to our date all the time, but whenever it is the day itself, I wish it'll be tomorrow so that I wouldn't have to face the goodbyes that soon. I hate it when the skies turn dark, it means goodbyes are getting closer. I hate it when time goes by so quickly whenever we are together, but good times do indeed pass faster.
因为知道自己的不完美，所以曾认为这辈子也许都遇不到一个喜欢自己的人。
可是误打误撞，遇见了你，那么好的你。
也许因为曾经失去过，曾经因为一个人的离开撕心裂肺的哭过，所以变得更加害怕面对离别吧。每一次的离别我都会忍不住流眼泪，明明答应好自己要做好准备不哭，可是在你面前总会像个小孩一样，眼泪不听使唤的流下。每一次因为一些小事情开始胡思乱想到最后卷成一团在被窝里流泪。明知道都是一次无谓的 overthinking 却忍不住哭得停不下来。其实我很害怕，我很害怕有一天你会习惯分开，你会觉得没有我在身边也无所谓反正，习惯了。对我而言，习惯其实很恐怖，一旦习惯了想改也不容易啊。每一天，都很想你。睡醒睁开眼睛，第一个动作就是发一句早安给你，睡前一定要通个电话，有什么事情都想第一时间想跟你分享，哪怕只是一件不起眼的小事，有你的生活都成了习惯、成了日常，如果有一天这些都必须跳过是多么可怕的事情。我也很害怕有一天你会厌倦了远距离恋爱，觉得想要一个可以常常陪在身边的人，我很害怕会有那么一个人就轻易的代替了我的位置。我相信你不会那么做可是就是会有这些不听使唤的想法一直在脑海里转来转去的。
우리 떨어지고 있는 동안에 제일 바라보는거 조금 더 보고 싶다고 하는 말이 해주면 좋겠다. 가끔은 너무 보고싶어서 자기한테 말했지만 자기는 그냥 나도 보고 싶다고 해서 뭔가 나만 보고 싶어하나.. 이런 느낌 들어. 자기는 먼저 보고 싶다고 말하면 느낌이 다르잖아, 진짜 보고 싶어서 말하는 거잖아.
It has been a long time since I last updated,
and I have been thinking about why.
Blogging used to be a way for me to express myself whenever I don't know who can I talk to,
maybe that's why I no longer blog often because I have found someone to talk with about anything, well maybe not everything but most of them.
Or maybe, I was just lazy heh.
I have also recently volunteered in a Korean education fair for two days, apparently, it was on my birthday and that is why I didn't get to celebrate with anyone. But I guess it is a great experience on my twenty-first birthday. That one thing that gave me the greatest impression was seeing the students who are so passionate about going to a university in Korea, and those who are shy to approach, it was like a flashback from 2 years ago when I visited the Korean education fair. 2 years later, I am sitting at one of the university's booth as representative to give students information and guidelines. Whenever the admission team staff told the students who came to our booth that there are only 2 Malaysian students and one of them is me, along with another graduate student, they looked at me with a very amazing look. To be honest, I feel a little bit proud to be part of the university and it feels like all the hard work does pay off. Some parents asked me how was it when I first entered the university, I told them honestly. It wasn't easy for me, I took some time to adjust to the way of studies, the format of exams and also the syllabus. Social life was not that bad but academics were, urm, terrible. My freshmen year results were so .. bad.. that I don't even want to recall but I'm glad that as I adjusted myself throughout the semester, my grades also became better. To think about it, there are only 2 years and a half left to finish my degree. It feels quite fast, and I guess it is time to start worrying about my career after graduating from undergrad school.
My biggest source of happiness, I am glad that you came into my life.
I don't remember at which exact moment I started to fall in love with you exactly, I don't remember when was the first day you got stuck in my mind, I don't remember when was the day I started to think about how should I ask you out when I go back to Korea.
I am glad that you came, I am glad like we clicked well with each other! It all started with learning Mandarin, and well maybe going to a lot of coffee shops together. September fifteen was the day you asked me if I have free time to meet up with you, and I remember well that I hesitated because I had my schedule planned, but I went in the end because it's you who asked. And surprisingly, that was the first day and I didn't even know! (what!!) A few days later, we went to the park together, we held each other hand and well, lean on each other's shoulder and you kissed my forehead yet you didn't confess to me or anything. I was so curious, so so so curious, I wanted to know so badly, so I asked what's our relationship. It took me so much courage to ask and thank god, the answer was the one that I was hoping for.
Since then, we went through a lot together and it will be one year soon! (Am currently preparing a gift because I don't think ill have time to do that when the semester begins ><) You made me smile a lot, you made me cry and angry sometimes but I didn't know what to say because I feel like it's just me being childish. But of course, there was a lot more happiness! You made me feel like a princess, you made me feel so loved, you made me feel like even when the world is against me you'll be right by my side. Long-distance wasn't easy but it is also not as hard as it seems to be, we have been doing well and I believe we will do better and I believe that the day when I will finally wake up having you by my side is getting closer day by day! We see each other through the screen a lot more, and this always made me realize how precious it is to spend a day together physically. Sometimes it even feels weird because we always see each other through video calls, but I love your warmth whenever you hold my hand or hug me tightly. I am a crybaby who always cries when we have to leave each other for more than a month, or when we have to send each other off to another state. I look forward to our date all the time, but whenever it is the day itself, I wish it'll be tomorrow so that I wouldn't have to face the goodbyes that soon. I hate it when the skies turn dark, it means goodbyes are getting closer. I hate it when time goes by so quickly whenever we are together, but good times do indeed pass faster.
因为知道自己的不完美，所以曾认为这辈子也许都遇不到一个喜欢自己的人。
可是误打误撞，遇见了你，那么好的你。
也许因为曾经失去过，曾经因为一个人的离开撕心裂肺的哭过，所以变得更加害怕面对离别吧。每一次的离别我都会忍不住流眼泪，明明答应好自己要做好准备不哭，可是在你面前总会像个小孩一样，眼泪不听使唤的流下。每一次因为一些小事情开始胡思乱想到最后卷成一团在被窝里流泪。明知道都是一次无谓的 overthinking 却忍不住哭得停不下来。其实我很害怕，我很害怕有一天你会习惯分开，你会觉得没有我在身边也无所谓反正，习惯了。对我而言，习惯其实很恐怖，一旦习惯了想改也不容易啊。每一天，都很想你。睡醒睁开眼睛，第一个动作就是发一句早安给你，睡前一定要通个电话，有什么事情都想第一时间想跟你分享，哪怕只是一件不起眼的小事，有你的生活都成了习惯、成了日常，如果有一天这些都必须跳过是多么可怕的事情。我也很害怕有一天你会厌倦了远距离恋爱，觉得想要一个可以常常陪在身边的人，我很害怕会有那么一个人就轻易的代替了我的位置。我相信你不会那么做可是就是会有这些不听使唤的想法一直在脑海里转来转去的。
우리 떨어지고 있는 동안에 제일 바라보는거 조금 더 보고 싶다고 하는 말이 해주면 좋겠다. 가끔은 너무 보고싶어서 자기한테 말했지만 자기는 그냥 나도 보고 싶다고 해서 뭔가 나만 보고 싶어하나.. 이런 느낌 들어. 자기는 먼저 보고 싶다고 말하면 느낌이 다르잖아, 진짜 보고 싶어서 말하는 거잖아.
and I have been thinking about why.
Blogging used to be a way for me to express myself whenever I don't know who can I talk to,
maybe that's why I no longer blog often because I have found someone to talk with about anything, well maybe not everything but most of them.
Or maybe, I was just lazy heh.
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